Archive for the ‘Dating Tips’ Category
Tuesday, June 5th, 2007 |
Ladies, we have all encountered this problem at least once in our lives – you’re really digging this guy and want to ask him out on a date. The only problem is that you have a hunch he might be gay. So you end up asking yourself, “Is this crush a lost cause?” Hmmm…I thought, we, women were suppose to be able to spot a gay man from miles away. What’s happened? Unless he’s sporting a rainbow bumper sticker on his car, there are no sure ways to tell whether somebody is gay. However, some keen observation can go a long way. Just don’t question him up front about his sexual orientation. Asking such a personal and sensitive question can end up insulting him.
By technical standards, sexuality defines our sexual orientation and nothing more. However, by social standards, gay has become synonomous to men wearing tight pink shirts, fitted jeans, sandals, and carrying a shoulder strapped man bag. Though there is probably some truth to this stereotype, it doesn’t always apply to every gay man out there in the world. Remember when Sex and the City’s Charlotte posed the “is he gay or is he straight?” question and Carrie replied, “Well it’s not that simple anymore, the real question is, is he a straight gay man, or is he a gay straight man?”? Well, Carrie’s right – it’s not that simple anymore.
Like I said before, there is no concrete way to know which team your love interest is on. However, there are still certain behaviors that typical gay men tend to practice. Believe me, I know. Not only did I work with hundreds of gay clients in West Hollywood (which is a gay-oriented city), but I also have a best friend who is gay.
Second, do a little research. Scope out his hang-out spots and you will get an idea of his type of “crowd.” If he’s out clubbing it at the Abbey or Micky’s in West Hollywood, sorry to burst your bubble, but your crush is gay. You can even do a Myspace search on him and see whether he lists his sexual orientation. Also, find out if he hangs out at the gym a lot because a fit body is a very important feature in the gay community. Furthermore, uncover his style of music.
In addition, observe who he make eye contact with. Do you find that he makes more eye contact with other men? That just might be a red flag – gay men love their eye candy.
Well, if all else fails, and you still have no clue whether your crush is gay, there is one option left. Invite him out somewhere (as friends, obviously) and offer to drive. If he’s jamming it to your latest Madonna CD and knows all the lyrics, you have your answer.
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Monday, June 4th, 2007 |
People are now spending more and more time at the workplace, leaving little room for outside social interaction. In fact, we often spend more time with our colleagues than with our family and friends. Because of this, people often times start to develop feelings for another coworker within the workplace.
So what action do you take when you realize that you are attracted to somebody at work? Do you start dating that person? Or do you stay clear of such relationships? First things first – we all know that dating a coworker can turn into a sticky situation. In many companies, it is considered taboo. Although I don’t want to turn this into meaningless, technical advice, you do have to take company dating policies into consideration. Most companies won’t have any written policies against dating another colleague, but that doesn’t necessarily signify the green light.
You should always take precaution and understand the possible ramifications. For example, a big No No would be to date a subordinate. If you start seeing somebody that directly reports to you, conflict of interest will inevitably arise. Other workers might accuse you of giving your romantic partner more leeway or promotional advantages, regardless of whether you actually are.
If it just so happens that there is no company policy against dating another employee and that your significant other does not report to you, then by all means, go ahead. Do what you like, but be sure to maintain professionalism. Keep your romantic relationship and work relationship separate. Never get these two things mixed up because it will cause a great deal of negative speculation and possible negative work performance. For those reasons, you should always keep your love life private. This is especially true if you work in a small office space with a few coworkers (where everybody knows your business and where rumors get quickly circulated).
Keeping your love life private also entails leaving the PDA (Public Display of Affection) at home. You never want to get caught in that awkward situation of being seen by other coworkers, or even possibly by a supervisor. It will send the wrong message and make you look truly unprofessional. Separating your love and business life means just that. No if, and, or buts about it. Even if it’s a little innocent electronic love letter that you want to send, don’t do it. Company email is strictly for business purposes. The underlying rule is that company time means company business. If you can’t follow this straightforward direction, then maybe it’s not a good idea to date work partners.
In short, if you do decide to date a colleague (with the understanding that you are not violating any company policies), make sure you know what you’re getting into. Take the time to rule out any possible negative ramifications that could affect your work performance. More importantly, take the time to discuss these issues with your dating partner. If such a relationship is to be successful, you both need to establish an understanding of the two separate relationships formed: business relationship and romantic relationship. It’s not enough though to just understand this, you and your partner must practice it as well.
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Monday, June 4th, 2007 |
If the old cliché is any indication, then opposites do get together. Whether or not opposites actually attract more often than similar people is something that has been studied over and over by people who get paid to know that stuff. Regardless of these findings, it’s true that sometimes people can find something interesting in another person that they’re not able to find within themselves.
Though it’s a sad fact of life, people sometimes get tired of themselves. After all, living with yourself for 25 or 30 years can get a little dull. Why would those same folks want to be with someone who brings the same things to the table? Women are especially fond of adventure and intrigue in their guys. Men can be the same way, too. In the end, they’re both looking for something alluring and mysterious – that’s the main reason why opposites attract.
As far as looks go, opposites are probably less likely to attract. People are generally attracted to what they’re used to. If a person’s parents are brunettes, they are probably going to be attracted to a brunette more than to a blonde. The real place where opposites attract is with personality. People search for qualities in a person that can challenge and stretch them. They look for people who can offer excellent qualities that have been missing in their life for far too long.
Contrary to popular belief, no one sets out to find their soul mate in the beginning. It just happens gradually as a relationship develops. That’s why opposites attract in the beginning. People are intrigued by things that they’re unfamiliar with, and as a result, they become even more immersed when they can’t quite figure it out. That’s why people often seem like they’re always going for an opposite. It’s a combination of trying to get a little relief from yourself and looking to spread your wings.
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